RULES OF LIFE

 

MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON

THIS ONE DECISION

WILL DETERMINE 90%

OF YOUR HAPPINESS

OR MISERY

WORK AT SOMETHING YOU ENJOY

AND THAT IS WORTHY OF YOUR

TIME AND TALENT

GIVE PEOPLE MORE THAN THEY EXPECT

AND DO IT CHEERFULLY

BECOME THE MOST POSITIVE

ENTHUSIASTIC PERSON YOU KNOW

BE FORGIVING OF YOURSELF AND OTHERS

BE GENOROUS

HAVE A GRATEFUL HEART

PERSISTANCE PERSISTENCE PERSISTENCE

DISCIPLINE YOURSELF TO SAVE MONEY

ON EVEN THE MOST MODEST SALARY

TREAT EVERYONE YOU MEET

LIKE YOU WANT TO BE TREATED

COMMIT YOURSELF

TO CONSTANT IMPROVEMENT

COMMIT YOURSELF TO QUAILITY

UNDERSTAND THAT HAPPINESS

IS NOT BASED ON POSSESSION

POWER OR PRESTIGE

BUT ON RELATIONSHIPS

WITH PEOPLE YOU LOVE AND RESPECT

BE LOYAL

BE A SELF STARTER

BE DECISIVE EVEN IF IT MEANS

YOUL’’LL SOMETIMES BE WRONG

STOP BLAMING OTHERS

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

FOR EVERY AREA OF YOUR LIFE

BE BOLD AND COURAGEOUS

WHEN YOU LOOK BACK ON YOUR LIFE

YOU’LL REGRET THE THINGS YOU DIDN’T DO

MORE THAN THE THINGS YOU DID

TAKE GOOD CARE OF THOSE YOU LOVE

DON’T DO ANYTHING THAT WOULDN’T

MAKE YOUR MUM PROUD

cherie carter-scott's rules of life

(Carter Scott references this quotation:) "Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood." (Helen Keller)

Rule One - You will receive a body. Whether you love it or hate it, it's yours for life, so accept it. What counts is what's inside.

Rule Two - You will be presented with lessons. Life is a constant learning experience, which every day provides opportunities for you to learn more. These lessons specific to you, and learning them 'is the key to discovering and fulfilling the meaning and relevance of your own life'.

Rule Three - There are no mistakes, only lessons. Your development towards wisdom is a process of experimentation, trial and error, so it's inevitable things will not always go to plan or turn out how you'd want. Compassion is the remedy for harsh judgement - of ourselves and others. Forgiveness is not only divine - it's also 'the act of erasing an emotional debt'. Behaving ethically, with integrity, and with humour - especially the ability to laugh at yourself and your own mishaps - are central to the perspective that 'mistakes' are simply lessons we must learn.

Rule Four - The lesson is repeated until learned. Lessons repeat until learned. What manifest as problems and challenges, irritations and frustrations are more lessons - they will repeat until you see them as such and learn from them. Your own awareness and your ability to change are requisites of executing this rule. Also fundamental is the acceptance that you are not a victim of fate or circumstance - 'causality' must be acknowledged; that is to say: things happen to you because of how you are and what you do. To blame anyone or anything else for your misfortunes is an escape and a denial; you yourself are responsible for you, and what happens to you. Patience is required - change doesn't happen overnight, so give change time to happen.

Rule Five - Learning does not end. While you are alive there are always lessons to be learned. Surrender to the 'rhythm of life', don't struggle against it. Commit to the process of constant learning and change - be humble enough to always acknowledge your own weaknesses, and be flexible enough to adapt from what you may be accustomed to, because rigidity will deny you the freedom of new possibilities.

Rule Six - "There" is no better than "here". The other side of the hill may be greener than your own, but being there is not the key to endless happiness. Be grateful for and enjoy what you have, and where you are on your journey. Appreciate the abundance of what's good in your life, rather than measure and amass things that do not actually lead to happiness. Living in the present helps you attain peace.

Rule Seven - Others are only mirrors of you. You love or hate something about another person according to what you love or hate about yourself. Be tolerant; accept others as they are, and strive for clarity of self-awareness; strive to truly understand and have an objective perception of your own self, your thoughts and feelings. Negative experiences are opportunities to heal the wounds that you carry. Support others, and by doing so you support yourself. Where you are unable to support others it is a sign that you are not adequately attending to your own needs.

Rule Eight - What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. Take responsibility for yourself. Learn to let go when you cannot change things. Don't get angry about things - bitter memories clutter your mind. Courage resides in all of us - use it when you need to do what's right for you. We all possess a strong natural power and adventurous spirit, which you should draw on to embrace what lies ahead.

Rule Nine - Your answers lie inside of you. Trust your instincts and your innermost feelings, whether you hear them as a little voice or a flash of inspiration. Listen to feelings as well as sounds. Look, listen, and trust. Draw on your natural inspiration.

Rule Ten - You will forget all this at birth. We are all born with all of these capabilities - our early experiences lead us into a physical world, away from our spiritual selves, so that we become doubtful, cynical and lacking belief and confidence. The ten Rules are not commandments, they are universal truths that apply to us all. When you lose your way, call upon them. Have faith in the strength of your spirit. Aspire to be wise - wisdom the ultimate path of your life, and it knows no limits other than those you impose on yourself.

Rules for You

1     Keep it under your hat

2     You’ll get older but not necessarily wiser

3     Accept what is done is done

4     Accept yourself

5     Know what counts and what doesn’t

6     Dedicate your life to something

7     Be flexible in your thinking

8     Take an interest in the outside world

9     Be on the side of the angels, not the beasts

10   Only dead fish swim with the stream

11   Be the last to raise your voice

12   Be your own advisor

13   No Fear, No Surprise, No Hesitation, No Doubt

14   I wish I’d done that – and I will

15   Count to ten – or recite Baa baa black sheep

16   Change what you can change, let go of the rest

17   Aim to be the very best at everything you do – no second best

18   Don’t be afraid to dream

19   Don’t dwell on the past

20   Don’t live in the future

21   Get on with life – it’s whooshing

22   Dress like today is important

23   Have a belief system

24   Have a little space for yourself each day

25   Have a plan

26   Have a sense of humour

27   Choose how you make your bed

28   Be in this world, but not of this world

29   Get used to stepping outside your comfort zone

30   Learn to ask questions

31   Have dignity

32   It’s OK to feel big emotions

33   Keep the faith

34   Know how to switch off

35   Know where true happiness comes from

36   Know when to let go – when to walk away

37   Look after yourself

38   Maintain good manners in all things

39   Prune your stuff frequently

40   Remember to touch base

41   Draw the lines around yourself

42   Shop for quality, not price

43   It’s OK to worry, or to know how not to

44   Stay young

45   The American solution doesn’t always work

46   Think for yourself

47   You are not  in charge

48   Have something in your life that takes you out of yourself

49   Only the good feel guilty

50   If you can’t say anything nice, shut up

Partnership Rules

51   Accept the differences, embrace what you have in common

52   Allow your partner the space to be themselves

53   Be nice

54   You want to do what?

55   Be the first to say sorry

56   Go that extra step in trying to please them

57   Always have someone – or something – that is pleased to see you...

58   Know when to listen and when to act

59   Have a passion for your life together

60   Make sure your love making is making love

61   Keep talking

62   Respect privacy

63   Check you both have the same shared goals

64   Treat your partner better than your best friend

65   Contentment is a high aim

66   You don’t both have to have the same rules

Family and Friends Rules

67   If you are going to be a friend, be a good friend

68   Never be too busy for loved ones

69   Let your kids mess up for themselves - they don’t need any help from you

70   Have a little respect and forgiveness for your parents

71   Give your kids a break

72   Never lend money unless you are prepared to write it off

73   There are no bad children

74   Be up around people you love

75   Give your kids responsibilities

76   Your children need to fall out with you to leave home

77   Your kid will have friends you don’t like

78   Your role as a child

79   Your role as a parent

Social Rules

80   We’re all closer than you think

81   It doesn’t hurt to forgive

82   It doesn’t hurt to be helpful

83   Take pride in what we do collectively

84   Do your job well

85   Hang out with smart people

86   Be generous with your time and information

87   Get involved

88   Keep the moral high ground

89   Have a plan for your career

90   Learn to see your community as part of a bigger picture

91   Look at the long term ramifications of what you do for a living

92   Be good at your job

World Rules

93   Be aware of the damage you are doing

94   Be for the glory, not the degradation

95   Be part of the solution, not the problem

96   Check what history would say about you

97   Keep your eyes open at all times

98   Not everything can be green

99   Put something back

100 Find a new rule every day – or occasionally at least

30 Happiness Tips: Program Your Life for Optimum Enjoyment

Written: 9/04/2007

For many of us, the goal of life isn't ultimate wealth, a massive amount of stuff, or the perfect car. It's happiness, plain and simple.

Some people may be created happier than others, with enjoyment of life programmed into their hardwiring. For others, getting to happiness isn't always that simple. You weren't programmed that way.

But like any programming, yours can be changed. Rewrite your life program to include as many of the following tips as appeal to you, and the ultimate goal of happiness can be yours. If you've already achieved complete happiness, well done!

1. Experiment to find out what makes you happy. Different things make different people happy. If you aren't sure what your hot spots are, experiment. Try different things out. Find out what you enjoy most. The answers just might surprise you. Try a few of the following for starters.


2. Surround yourself with others who are happy. If you are around angry, depressed or sad people, it will transfer to you. You can't help it. But if you're around people who are happy, that will also transfer to you. You'll also learn their habits, and learn to react the way they do when something bad happens. Slowly weed out the negative influences on your life and replace them with positive ones.


3. Count your blessings. When something bad happens to you, try not to focus on it. Instead, take a minute to count your blessings. Everyone has good things in their lives, whether it is health or loved ones or whatever.


4. Gratitude sessions. Along those lines, it is a good practice to have a daily gratitude session. Think about what you have to be thankful for, and silently thank those who have done something good for you in some way. If you have time, take the time to call them or email them to thank them.


5. Think solutions. Instead of thinking about problems, move to the next step: how to solve it. When someone says to me, "Oh, this is so hard," or "Oh, I can't seem to do this," or "Man, we don't have any more of that," I just ask them, "Well, what's the solution?" If you develop solution-oriented thinking, you'll be much happier.


6. Connect with others. As much as possible, spend time with those you love, and with others who you enjoy. It could be a simple phone call, or a short visit. Or take a day with the person or people you'd like to spend time with. Have a conversation, do things together, be intimate.


7. Accept things. We are often unaware of it, but we usually want things or people or ourselves to change. And that's a sure way to lead to unhappiness, because we cannot control the world. We have to accept things as they are, try to understand them, even love them. Including and most especially ourselves: accept who you are, allow yourself to be yourself, try to understand and love yourself. Then do the same with the others in your life.


8. Take time to savor life. Instead of rushing from one thing to another, resolve to have less to do each day, less appointments and fewer tasks. Then do each thing slowly, with mindfulness and ease, and try to be present in the moment. And truly enjoy whatever it is you do, from talking to eating to walking to just sitting.


9. Notice small things. Along the same lines, try to notice when you feel good, or you're not suffering, or you are tasting something really delicious, or you feel something cold or hot, anything. Noticing the little things will help keep you focused on the present.


10. Treat yourself. Take a few minutes each day to give yourself a little treat, whether that's something like chocolate or berries, or a bubble bath, or walking barefoot in the grass, or taking a nap. Whatever it is, treat yourself. You deserve it.


11. This shall pass. When bad things happen, and you're having trouble accepting it, think to yourself the same thing the ancients did: "This, too, shall pass." And it will. And you'll survive.


12. Volunteer. When you give to others, whether that's money or the stuff you no longer need or your time and love, you become happier. It's true. Take 5 minutes today to call a charity and volunteer to donate some time sometime this month. It will make a big difference in your life.


13. Follow your passions. If you do what you love to do, especially for a living, you wil be extremely happy. This is one of the best things you can do. If it seems impossible, don't give up. Others have done it and you can too.


14. Look at your achievements. Instead of looking at what you haven't done, or what you've failed at, think about what you have done. Many times that's much more than we realize.


15. Laugh. Just the simple act of laughing can make you happier. Watch a funny movie, tell jokes, read a book by Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett, go to humor sites on the Internet. And laugh your head off.


16. Realize that you deserve it. You deserve happiness. That simple statement is actually profound for many people, as they don't believe they really deserve to be happy. It's often unconscious. If you feel that within yourself, you need to first realize that you deserve happiness. Repeat it if necessary.


17. Get into the flow. There is a state of doing known as Flow, which is when you completely lose yourself in a task and forget about the world around you. It leads to happiness, and productivity. Set yourself up for it by clearing distractions, giving yourself a challenging (but accomplishable) task, and making it something that you like doing. Then try to lose yourself in that task.


18. Have a goal. Too many goals will lead to ineffectiveness. Try to choose one goal and really focus on it. And work to accomplish it. Goals lead to happiness, if you make progress on them.


19. Get inspired. Take time to read blogs or books or magazine articles about success stories related to what you want to do. It will get you energized.


20. Celebrate. When you do something right, when you accomplish something, when you feel like it, reward yourself. Celebrate. Have fun, and pat yourself on the back.


21. Autonomy. Try to have at least one area in your life where you have autonomy. It's best if this is at work, but if not, find another place, such as a hobby or civic activity. You need to be in control of what you do to be happy.


22. Spend time doing something you love. Make room in your life by eliminating some of the commitments you don't really like doing, and replacing them with something you truly love.


23. Show little acts of kindness. Each day, try to be kind to others in little ways, opening doors, smiling, giving up your place in line.


24. Exercise. Just a short walk or run could lift your spirits and reduce stress. Nothing difficult. Just get outside and move.


25. Catch negative thoughts. Monitor your thoughts. When you catch negative ones, try to think of something good instead. Corny, but it helps.


26. Jealousy doesn't help. Many people obsess about others who are successful or happy. That gets you nowhere, fast. Instead, be happy for them. Then focus on yourself, and what you do right.


27. Stop watching and reading news. Sure, this sounds like a head-in-the-sand suggestion. But really, if you give this a try, you won't miss a thing. And instead, you can focus on reading books and listening to music that lifts you up.


28. Learn something new. It's strange how many of us are afraid to try new things, or admit we don't know something. But learning new skills or new information is one of the most fun things there is to do. Give it a try.


29. Check out nature. Go and watch a sunrise or sunset. Watch the water, whether that's a river or ocean or lake. Watch the stars, or the clouds. Watch animals. Watch people. Watch children. And be inspired by it all.


30. Laugh some more. When you are in the middle of a bad situation, look around you, realize the absurdity of the situation, and just laugh. In a year, no one will care. In two years, you'll be laughing at this anyway. So laugh now, and be happy now.

Written for Dumb Little Man by Leo Babuata